Luuuuuuke I am you faaaaather

If ever there was a perfect time for a company to send me a fan to review it was now. This week has been beyond Africa hot in LA. It has been ef’n balls hot. As in, the Mojave. On fire. With gasoline being poured on you by Gisselle Bunchin… in a bikini. Yeah, that hot. So while the mercury rises and we all accumulate an unhealthy level of duck butter in our nether regions, I choose to sit in the stream of the ridiculously cool, space age-y Dyson Air Multiplier™ which it so happens is perfectly aimed right at my face while I type this.

I have been a fan (see what I did there?) of Dyson products ever since I first got our vacuum that “never loses suction… ever.” I mean, how badass is a vacuum when even the coolest of hipsters comment on it when they come into your house? “Dude, is that a Dyson?” So when I saw that the genius of James Dyson had now focused his attention on the archaic design of the household room fan, I knew I had to get my hands on one. Ok ok, I’m a guy and we all know guys love gizmos, so sue me. But besides the obvious cool factor of owning such an incredibly designed product, I got to thinking about how, as a new parent, this is actually a really incredible device for more reasons other than bragging rights.

First off the look. I think I’ve made it abundantly clear on how sleek the design is. This looks less like some appliance that clutters your room, and more like a piece you got in the MOMA store while wandering through SoHo. Even in the cooler months of winter you wouldn’t feel the need to tuck this away in a closet, no sir. You could display it proudly if only to have as a yuppie conversation piece until summer rolls round once more. The second thing I noticed was how quiet it is. Of course the highest setting produced a louder hum as would be expected, but still much quieter, as well as less unsettling than a regular fan’s flutter.

Now for the most important aspect of the Dyson Air Multiplier. Safety. Having twin daughters that means I have two little sets of hands that are immediately attracted to anything moving. And even though the Air Multiplier shoots out 119 gallons of air per second in a smooth, steady flow, there are no visible moving parts for teeny fingers to get caught in. Big plus for us parents with an adversity to emergency rooms. I even let my little ones play with the fan with full confidence that no injuries would occur. Although I don’t think I could speak for the fan. I quickly had to move it up out of reach as the giggle fits that ensued were immediately followed by rambunctious monkey business that would have surely broken this new piece of  consumer based jet engine technology.

In summary, I highly recommend this fan for any household with children. Long gone are the clunky designs, and annoying buffeting feeling we get from the classic noisy model of fans. Now we enjoy the cool, sleek design of yet another amazing result from the oddly forward thinking kids at Dyson. The only thing I could say that is a strike against the Air Multiplier would be the price. Starting at $299 for the 10″ table model and going up from there, this fan might be only for true design aficionados and cool stuff fetishists. The only area I see that traditional blade technology fans might have Dyson beat is the countless hours of fun one might have pressing their lips to the grill and talking in that cool Darth Vader voice. Which of course I know absolutely nothing about.

Probably the coolest product video I’ve watched in a long time

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